This sea of Apathy.

I find myself at a crossroad in life.  I can't find the ambitious me anymore.  I was once so motivated a few years ago when my life was stable. 

 The day my stepfather left he took my ambition with him.  He cheated on my mother and even cheated with his absence.  The foundation of my world came crashing down, and things would progressively get worse.  My mother, the strongest woman I've ever known broke down emotionally and descended into a deep depression.  I hated reality, I hated everything.

Slowly but surely I did regain my stability.  My Ex girlfriend Cassie was amazing and was able to rescue me from my apathy.  I cared so much for her and actually had faith for my future.  I don't know why I broke up with her, I suppose it was because I was the only thing holding her back from happiness.  I'm a parasite and nothing more.  I ruined her.  I'm back to being nothing.

I'm lost in this sea of apathy, and I'm taking my last breath of air.  I'm drowning in my own apathy and I can't find myself.